Uh the night I was with Jen her and I had tons fo fun..Danced in the rain poored coffee on smalleys car at starbucks and went to muvico to play ddr then got lost. But see I have a problem with the guys and still don't understand why I assosicate with them. They can't be themselves. No they have to look macho in front of each other. Smalley is my good friend but it bugs me when he tries to act like he's an emo fucker. Chris and Scott well I have no fucking clue. Maybe I'm not girly or whatever but I don't plan on changing for some emo swoop fuckers that sing whiney bullshit or claim they like music that they have no clue what-so-ever about. They're so fucking ignorant. and when they they leave high school i'm going to laugh because they won't have each other. Why do they have to act like they have something to prove and be oh so arrogant. Oh yea. fucking think they can be assholes one night and the next day jump in my spot for shit. thats fucked up. I hate it. I do so much and it's like " bah fuck laura over" i dont get it. Only decent guys are Blake Omar Marshal Andrew Lenny sometime Matt. The rest I'm so fucking sick and tired of their shit. Makes me want to be anti-social it's so disgusting.
Still have to get service hours into graduate..Karate instructor feels i'm slacking..sorry i work all the time..i try to have a life..dogs going insane..
Work is the cause of a lot of stress...want to beat the shit out of fucking niggers that work or come and eat in the restaurant sometimes. New manager loves to yell at the employees...I got so mad I called my friend Branden and he had to calm me down.. and I felt bad because i walked out on my friends like John and Josh..just slammed the door and left.. and the manager is just all like " why dont you have a boyfriend mami you're so pretty and if i was 20 years younger i'd hit that" and i felt so upset and wanted to break his face and kill him ..he like hugs me and puts his arm around me and i feel so fucking gorss and violated..I just want wayne to be my manager again he was fun and laid back he'd call me crackhead and joke all the time he was like daddy #3 ..i just go into work and dread it all the time but at least i'm serving right..i've been waiting/ working so long and hard to do it..I dunno.
I just want to run away from it all..jump into a big lake and just float..why cant i take the advise i give and not take life so serious..