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April 2006

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Apr. 4th, 2006

(no subject)

fucking ridiculous. i hate people ..from now on i just want to be left alone. i hate fucking stupidity..that seems to be the keyword for this week or maybe cunt; i havent decided yet. wow i hate when im this angry i punch shit and become a sarcastic super bitch. fuck me im so fucking angry i dont even know if i can type it all out right. i know its not your fault. but fucking 8 pm to 2 am..what teh fuck. i shouldve gone out with my friends and get it off my mind a little but i didnt know if you were going to be back or what... i havent talked to you like all fucking weekend i missed you and wanted to talk to you and have our fun mike and laura day..thats all and i was having such a good day..but why would those happen..fuck. i fucking knew this shit was going to happen .fuck. thats the only word thats been coming out of my mouth/head.. im so fucking over this cunt i dont think i could go up there because i'd fucking kill her . i try to be nice but i cant do it anymore. im just going to not talk anymore i knew this bullshit wouldve happen i shouldve not rushed shit and whatever its my fucking fault. im a selfish stupid bitch with a fucking stick up her ass right now and im fucking so angry i wont be able to sleep or anything i'll want to listen to mudvayne and curse away my fustration. i cant be happy right now or for a few days this is going to take sometime. FUCKKKKKK
fuck you

Stupid
Annoying
Ridiculous
Ass muncher.

ok I'm done.

Mar. 26th, 2006

(no subject)

wow so the last few days totally sucked. i hate my life more than ever right now. luckly i have therapy tomorrow oh yay...anyways.. last night i got out at freakin 2:15 am.. bullshit. bussed and cleaned the entire fucking restuarant man i was pissed. Luckly I had James Katie Nick Erica and Apollo. It was so slow last night i walked out with 60 bucks.that stupid party came in at 10 they didnt fucking call or anything i was so pissed and trashed the place..whatever. got home couldnt sleep i had too much on my mind..i passed out after having some munchies eventually..THANKS APOLLO! woke up i had the worst cramps and shit i was like oh fucking great..i have this lovely stuffy nose too.next my manager called me asking to pick shit up ...so i did..i saw robert..ewww..stupid boy from another rubys..got to work... worked with best friend...NOT..had 4 tables made 35 went home. I feel like shit. not seems to be going right.i dunno. i think im the biggest asshole who is wasting space. i dont feel like talking to anyone. Hopefully i'll be out with james and katie tonight at fridays. that place is the best. man im so BLAH anyways i gotta go..malls closing in like an hour so i kinda wanna pick up some make up.

adios.


ps mike youre not a fuck up..its me.



god i love you so much </3

Mar. 20th, 2006

Long time no update..

So it's almost been a year since i updated this thing...Lol a lot has happened but I rather not talk about the past. Still I love Mike. I always will...

You think you understand love but I dont sometimes..why was I so stupid to ever leave him in the first place when my heart stayed with him. I made the biggest mistake of my life and I knew it ..I guess I just wanted to be needed and for someone to tell me no Laura I wont let you go I love you...just like some stupid fairytale. I felt like we drifted apart..and it hurt me to talk to you..I wanted everything to get better when I didnt think it would..stupid long distance..But here I am spilling out my heart to you because you're the one I truely love and would give anything to be with you. I think about you all the time and when I think about how I hurt myself I'm ashamed of myself. I thought it would make the pain go away and would make things better and to show that I'm a human..But now I deal with pain ans stress a lot better because you're in my life( well actually you are). Everything when out of control and like you promised you'd be there for me and put me back together again when I needed you the most. I wouldnt be here if it wasn't for you. The nights I held that razor in my hand thinking things wouldn't get any better and how much I fucked up my life because I was selfish, I put it up to my wrist then feel so sick and think no...He wouldnt want this..I dont want him to deal with this..then I'd get sick and lay down and cry..God I've felt so fucking psycho and I dont want to seem like that at all..My head was all fucked with and in everyway I wasn't stable..But now because of you I found myself again..Thank you for loving me and being my everything..When I say I love you more I mean it because you've saved my life..

Yea now I'm crying over a stupid journal entry...


I love you more than anything and I always will. FOREVER! Sorry but you're stuck with me.

Apr. 24th, 2005

I don't know why.

Why are things so complicated... I just want to make you happy and you want everything you want..get the grades you deserve because I know you can get them. Just bugs me when you're lazy and don't do it because I KNOW you can. I may seem like a hypocrite but I don't have to worry about my grades or anything, I'm already accepted into college. I want you to get that computer and a 2.0 so we can goto college and have a future together. I dunno. I love you and want you to have the best..For now I'm just going to sit and shut up.. What a weird night it's been...I'm so in love with you..I hope you know that..

Apr. 22nd, 2005

Teh Win!

xemoxphobicx: Mike
xemoxphobicx: Marry me =P
StabYourKidney: Ok!


My life is complete. <3

Apr. 20th, 2005

Happy.

Bam.
This made my night...

StabYourKidney: You're my only girlfriend.. well that is if you want to be called that..

Apr. 14th, 2005

(no subject)

Happy to shit faced..What a fuck up I am.

Apr. 9th, 2005

God is Gay!

Yes today is a good day. Computer all working in my room. Got Kurt Cobains autograph Only worked till four! How marvelous! Yay Nirvana makes me happy. Whenever I get my Nirvana kicks it makes me giddy and strange. Anywho. Painted my frame for the autograph have to finish my drawing and the paintings. Right now I'm figuring out what Art Institute to goto..They're all the same.. just different programs. I'm going for Media Arts and Animation. Go figure New York doesn't have it? I'm confused. I guess if it's not there I have to change my major. Bah that would suck. But I'd have to deal with it. Can't get something without making changes I guess. I have the summer to decided. I just really want to be with Mike and do media arts and animation..that's all I ever do is painting and drawing. I dunno. All these locations! http://www.artinstitutes.edu/locations.asp#NewYork
It's incredible! I want to do something. Hmm.. cause some chaos? Nah. Plot out some murderous scenerios..Maybe?

Yay 18 soon. Goodness! Me 18 ..I don't think the world can handle that.



The black sheep got blackmailed again forgot to put on the zip code



Some more word salad for the day...


gun

nevermind

yikes

hooray

testing

kissy !

money

bang!

sex0rs

breed

tacks

I dont care

word salad time

Mike

sunday

sexual futrated

nevermind

murder

stupid

love

ouchies

married in boxers

frap

shineyyyy

mucho

yayayyaa

" if you need any help , My name is Laura"


jdefjkdhfkshjdfk


bread

seatle

kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss muah

psycho

20 bucks

import

investigator

Apr. 3rd, 2005

Morning.

First time in a while i sleep in till 11..probably would have slept longer if my mom hadnt woken my up. My body is exhusted and I want to rest more but thats impossible. hmmm.. so lets see..the weekend has gone fast. wish i hadnt worked so much so then i could have done more things that i wanted to do. i feel like my body is getting frailer and that i'm getting sick. my skins getting pailer and everything seems to hurt. I majorly need a break from it all. eh whatever I start physical therapy tuesday we'll see what happens.
my hands hurt i have all these cuts on them. that sucks.

for some odd reason i seem to like kurt cobain more than usual. Maybe its the fact that in a few days hes been dead 11 years. I dunno. I get weirder all the time i swear. i'm going to go out and buy books about his death later. it's interesting to me i guess.


hmmmmmmi hurt EVERYWHERE. And besides i got teh rag now. and that suckkkksssss


Lol..My life at this stage is fustrating. The thing I want the most is Mike and it gets harder everyday not being with him...blah. he's what i think about and live for..i just always think about how we're meant for each other. and when he says that it makes me happy. I love you Mike, my bum.

breakfast time.

going to eat then goto barnes and nobles and get some starbucks there. should get mike a book but i dont want to make him read.
work today 3-9 or something of the sort. eh.

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